Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Ultrasound #5

After the week 8 ultrasound, I went into my 9wk 3day scan expecting to see growing babies, but otherwise have it be uneventful.  Both babies looked great and had almost no different between them in size or heart rates.

We knew immediately at the start of this scan something was wrong.  We could see one baby dancing around but the other one didn't look right.  And S didn't say anything.  Finally, she said, "well we have one good healthy baby here but I think we've lost the other one". She brought in Dr. A and he spent a good deal of time looking at both babies.  Sometime in the last couple of days, Baby A died.  We don't know why.  A had the strongest HB from the beginning so this was a real shock.  It looks like that weird shaped sac may have had something to do with it.  Her sac was a long oval instead of the normal circle.  A was on the far right of the oval and her placenta was on the far left.  We could see her cord stretched out across the sac and a clot/cyst in her cord. My hypothesis is that the distance caused a tear in the cord which led to a clot. . . what other explanation is there for a healthy baby being gone.  We'd had no signs that this one had genetic issues because it was growing so well. . . I've also seen other babies with strange sac shapes that do just fine. I wonder if my damaged lower uterus had something to do with this since the two babies we lost were the ones implanted at the base of my uterus and B, who is strong and healthy was at the top.  Maybe A was spread out because the embryo tried to implant in the fluffier tissue and the distance was just too much for the baby.  In the ultrasound picture above, you can see healthy B, in the part of the sac that's visible to the left you can see the yolk/placenta. . . the rest of the sac for A extended behind B's and A was a couple inches away from the yolk/placenta.  I have pictures of A also, but it's obvious she's gone and I don't want to post them.  She still looks like a little baby but different.

Who knows.  I'm having a very very very hard time with this.  I should feel thrilled that we have a baby coming. . . that was the plan.  But to have gone from 3, to 2, and now to 1 feels like a nightmare.  I feel like my body is killing my babies and I am waiting for the bad news that we've lost B too.  Dr. A tried to reassure me that B looked great, she was dancing and wiggling all over the place and looked healthy and strong. . . but it's hard to believe I will have a baby at the end of all this.

Coupled with our loss in June, I've managed to conceive 4 babies and have lost 3 of them.  We are praying very hard that B holds on and we are rewarded with a healthy baby in 28 weeks or so.

Today, I am 10wks 3days.  No ultrasound this week, I've been released to my OB.  I will meet him on the 25th and have another scan then.  In the meantime I'm slightly attached to a doppler, trying to reassure myself that B is okay in there.

How are the Twins?

Baby A looks squished in there. . . but her sac is the odd ball one and part of it is over behind the other two.  HB 171.

Baby B HB 166.

Both measuring right on track for gestational age.

Baby C's sac is getting smaller in comparison, but is larger than it looks in this photo.