That's the story of my life. . . waiting for ovulation. . . the two week wait. . . waiting for AF. . . waiting to finally get a BFP.
Today, I'm cd11. My Clearblue fertility monitor says I'm at "high" fertility. . . I'm expecting a "peak" reading within a few days.
Poor hubs has been deprived for the last 72 hours. . . tonight he gets lucky. Today is our best shot at getting good quality swimmers where they need to be to lie in wait for the egg(s). From tonight we will wait another 60 hours and repeat as needed until ovulation is confirmed.
I took clomid 150mg again this cycle, but I forgot (how do you forget?) to pick up my prescription on CD3 when I was suppose to start so I took it CD4-8 this cycle. I had to go in for a monitoring scan at the beginning of this cycle or I couldn't medicate. I decided it was worth the $450 this time as I wasn't willing to wait. The good news is that I had at least 15 antral follicles between my ovaries and Dr. Awesome assured me that my time is not running out (despite turning 35 later this year).
In other news, I haven't lost any more weight. . . I find myself slipping into a plateau because I'm at a weight/size that I am okay with (even if I don't love it). . . I'm trying to restart hardcore today. . . I've had a lot of slips since our camping trip at the beginning of July. . . time to get back on track! I'm convinced that the removal of sugar and grains helped us conceive in our miscarriage cycle, so I'm praying and hoping that helps again soon!
Monday, July 30, 2012
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
One of Those Days
This morning, I ran into a girl who worked out at they gym in the wee hours of the morning. . . I haven't been going to the gym since the miscarriage. She happily asks, "Did you get your wish yet?". . . I replied "no". Then she beams and says, "I did!".
She's 8 weeks pregnant. . . due two weeks after I would have been. I realized as I stood there that I should be 10 weeks pregnant today. . . instead, I tested negative again today at 17dpo and discontinued my progesterone so that AF can show up.
I'm a mess. When does this start getting easier? When do I accept that I may never get to have a baby with my husband?
She's 8 weeks pregnant. . . due two weeks after I would have been. I realized as I stood there that I should be 10 weeks pregnant today. . . instead, I tested negative again today at 17dpo and discontinued my progesterone so that AF can show up.
I'm a mess. When does this start getting easier? When do I accept that I may never get to have a baby with my husband?
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
16dpo and Progesterone Hang Over
Ugh. . . I hate the waiting game. These darn medicated cycles drag out longer and longer. We learned last cycle, when I conceived that a home test at 15dpo was negative and at 18dpo it was positive. . . was this because it wasn't a viable pregnancy, or is that how my body rolls? Who knows. . . so I have to wait out until 18dpo this round on progesterone. If I test negative then, I can stop the progesterone and wait for my next cycle to start.
Trouble is. . . I feel like crap. I have a killer migraine. I'm so darn tired. This could be the progesterone. . . who knows. I've taken two tests, at 14dpo and 15dpo. I skipped today. . . maybe I'll test tomorrow. I went by the Dollar Tree and picked up 7 of the Assured tests. I used these in my conception cycle along with First Response Early Detection (the most sensitive on the market). The Assured Dollar Tree test also showed positive when my HCG was only 18 and continued to show it when my HCG dropped over the next couple of days. This tells me they are super sensitive and why waste the big bucks? (The First Response also showed positive.)
I have to decide if I want to shell out the $450 to have a base line scan once AF does show up. . . if so, then I can have another medicated cycle (oh the joys!). If not, we do nothing and see. . . of course, we conceived on the non-medicated cycle but my progesterone was low and that bambino didn't stick. . . so who knows.
I asked if I can skip the baseline scan and just go ahead with clomid again. . . I know my body so well, I'd know if I have a cyst (ovulation nearly makes me cry. . . seriously). They said no because they recently had one lady who tested negative. . . had what looked like AF. . . came in for her baseline scan only to find out she was actually pregnant. I guess better safe than sorry is the story here, right?
Trouble is. . . I feel like crap. I have a killer migraine. I'm so darn tired. This could be the progesterone. . . who knows. I've taken two tests, at 14dpo and 15dpo. I skipped today. . . maybe I'll test tomorrow. I went by the Dollar Tree and picked up 7 of the Assured tests. I used these in my conception cycle along with First Response Early Detection (the most sensitive on the market). The Assured Dollar Tree test also showed positive when my HCG was only 18 and continued to show it when my HCG dropped over the next couple of days. This tells me they are super sensitive and why waste the big bucks? (The First Response also showed positive.)
I have to decide if I want to shell out the $450 to have a base line scan once AF does show up. . . if so, then I can have another medicated cycle (oh the joys!). If not, we do nothing and see. . . of course, we conceived on the non-medicated cycle but my progesterone was low and that bambino didn't stick. . . so who knows.
I asked if I can skip the baseline scan and just go ahead with clomid again. . . I know my body so well, I'd know if I have a cyst (ovulation nearly makes me cry. . . seriously). They said no because they recently had one lady who tested negative. . . had what looked like AF. . . came in for her baseline scan only to find out she was actually pregnant. I guess better safe than sorry is the story here, right?
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Cycling On. . .
Today I am 7dpo. I'm pretty sure that I released multiple eggs this round as both ovaries were swollen and painful and the ovulation pain/pressure spanned over three days. Since we are trying with only minor involvement right now I didn't have a scan. I've been tempted to find a reason to go in for one just to see how many CL's are on my ovaries now. Not that it will make any difference. . . but my brain likes to know.
I started progesterone suppositories at 3dpo. I'm miserably sick, but unsure if that is related to progesterone or maybe I have a bug? Pretty sure it's too early to be pregnancy symptoms. (Although the over active part of my brain says if I was pregnant with multiples then maybe it wouldn't be too early. . . and I had a good temp dip yesterday which is when I started feeling sick).
Once again this cycle I didn't get a + OPK. My body is tricky like that. I have to spend a fortune and test 3-4x each day if I hope to catch my surge. Guess I'm one of the small percentage that OPK's are not accurate for. Maybe I should start using a fern scope again since my CM and OPKs are not reliable indicators. . .
Looks like IVF is off the books. . . I had formulated a plan to possibly pay for one cycle later this year. However, we've just found out our 10 yo must start orthodontia to the tune of $7,600. She's scheduled for October when our FSA reloads. That will deplete our FSA and that is the only way we can afford to pay for IVF. Ortho for the kid we have trumps trying to conceive the baby of our dreams.
I napped this afternoon because I'm feeling so crummy. . . I had strange dreams. In one, I was pregnant and violently ill (like I have been in all my pregnancies to date). All I could get down was salt. So, I sliced up carrots and zucchini into thin strips and dosing them with olive oil and sea salt. Then I'd bake them up like chips. I lived on those and kale chips and homemade lemonade with honey. . . In my dream I was trying to convince myself that I needed protein but I could only manage to eat a bit of scrambled eggs in butter or almonds every now and then.
I started progesterone suppositories at 3dpo. I'm miserably sick, but unsure if that is related to progesterone or maybe I have a bug? Pretty sure it's too early to be pregnancy symptoms. (Although the over active part of my brain says if I was pregnant with multiples then maybe it wouldn't be too early. . . and I had a good temp dip yesterday which is when I started feeling sick).
Once again this cycle I didn't get a + OPK. My body is tricky like that. I have to spend a fortune and test 3-4x each day if I hope to catch my surge. Guess I'm one of the small percentage that OPK's are not accurate for. Maybe I should start using a fern scope again since my CM and OPKs are not reliable indicators. . .
Looks like IVF is off the books. . . I had formulated a plan to possibly pay for one cycle later this year. However, we've just found out our 10 yo must start orthodontia to the tune of $7,600. She's scheduled for October when our FSA reloads. That will deplete our FSA and that is the only way we can afford to pay for IVF. Ortho for the kid we have trumps trying to conceive the baby of our dreams.
I napped this afternoon because I'm feeling so crummy. . . I had strange dreams. In one, I was pregnant and violently ill (like I have been in all my pregnancies to date). All I could get down was salt. So, I sliced up carrots and zucchini into thin strips and dosing them with olive oil and sea salt. Then I'd bake them up like chips. I lived on those and kale chips and homemade lemonade with honey. . . In my dream I was trying to convince myself that I needed protein but I could only manage to eat a bit of scrambled eggs in butter or almonds every now and then.
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