Saturday, April 28, 2012

In the Mail. . .

Today I found a Destination Maternity catalog in my mailbox. . . who sends an infertile a maternity catalog?  (Note to self. . . this could be my fault for preemptively purchasing maternity clothes during our first round of IUI, I'm just saying.)

I'm on CD22 or 7-9DPO (depending on how many eggs popped. . . I'm betting on at least one from each ovary this cycle).  I almost called for a scan just to see how many follicles I had. . . as if knowing the number would make me feel better.  The reality is, when I know how many eggs I have, I start obsessing.  Then I feel defeated and like I have broken eggs when none of them take.  So this is good for me.

I did not OPK this cycle. . . I did not have a scan. . . I did not have a trigger.  I did take clomid 150mg CD3-7 and I did continue to chart my BBT, CM, & cervix position.  I did try to space BD out to every other day during my fertile window in the hopes that this would give us a decent shot at sperm and egg meeting up.

I'm on the 21 Day Sugar Detox. . . it's working wonders.  Today I had a cheat, I made the decision to have a scone made with tapioca flour & hard cheese (both no-no's).  I started feeling crummy shortly after and still have a horrendous headache.  Carb hangover?  Ugh. . .

The good news is. . . I've lost 13lbs in the past month.  I'm also going to Curves 4x each week.   I feel less stressed.  My skin is already better from eating Paleo and getting the carbs & sugars out of my system (no mid cycle breakout!).

Technically I can test one week from today.  Not sure when I will.

Friday, April 20, 2012

CD 14 Update

Today is CD14. . . I cancelled my day 12 scan and trigger and decided to wing it.  I have ovary discomfort ramping up so I'm sure ovulation is getting close.  I'm not using OPK's this cycle as I decided to save myself the stress.

I've started working out 4-5 mornings a week. . . I'm hoping this and changes in my diet will lower my cortisol and if that's the problem then we will get knocked up.

Did I mention that I have scheduled an IVF consult on May 2nd?  Not sure if we will go anywhere with it. . .

Monday, April 9, 2012

What's Next?

Our "rest" cycle ended on Saturday with the arrival of AF. Oh the joys. I did O, it looks like CD16 with a positive OPK on CD15. Things get confusing because I had a big temp rise on CD14, dip on CD15 and it rose again on CD16. My LP seems to confirm a CD16 O. So, there it is.

Despite great timing of the baby dance, the use of Pre~Seed and Guaifenesin we had no luck. 16 cycles down without even the faintest of a positive pee stick.

I was really tempted to take another rest cycle. . . in fact, I waffled all the way up until I picked up my clomid prescription at 7pm tonight (CD3 and day 1 of clomid). I decided I would take clomid CD3-7 (150mg), have a scan on CD12 and do a trigger shot. Then we will do timed intercourse and pray for the best. This cycle will only cost about $500 (which insurance will cover half of) since we are having 1 scan instead of 2 and no IUI/sperm prep. Typical cycles have been running $1200 + meds.

We have an IVF consult scheduled for May 2nd. This is a "what if?" appointment. . . it's not a set in stone this is what we are doing thing. I'm still not sure we can afford it (or justify the cost if we decide we have the cash), and I'm not sure I'm morally willing to go there.

We are also on the wait list for donor embryos. This is a pretty cost effective option at our clinic. There are no legal fees (embryos are surrendered to the clinic for adoption). It costs $3800 + meds for one cycle (vs. $8850 + meds for one stimulation cycle). The problem is that the wait list is long (two+ years). For us, it's good that the wait list is long as hubs isn't sure he is on board with the idea. I figure if we still haven't conceived by the time our names come up on the list, he will probably be much more open to the idea. And once we've been given embryos, we don't have to transfer right away. . . we can wait for a while and even pass up the chance to the next couple if we decide against it.

So, that's where we are at. I honestly cannot believe that we aren't pregnant yet. Last Easter, we were a few months into our TTC journey and I was convinced we would have a wonderful Easter surprise. Instead, AF visited. Here we are a year later with the same outcome. This infertility journey has lasted longer than my first round (baby #1 took 12 cycles). Granted, I was a dozen years younger and the only apparent issue was anovulation. Now we have a whole host of "issues". Awesome.