Monday, February 20, 2012

Things Crazy Infertiles Do...

When DD and I married, we figured a baby would be soon to follow. I'm not sure why I was that naive... I knew from previous experience (12 medicated fertility cycles) with baby girl #1 that I don't make babies easily. Perhaps the 12 years in between dulled my memory. Baby girl #2 followed on the heels of her slow in arriving sister with conception from my first post baby ovulation (11 months old, still breastfeeding) and then refused to move out despite her ginormous size and obvious lack of space. Baby girl #3 required 6 cycles of medicated fertility cycles following 6 months non medicated TTC after a spontaneous pregnancy and early miscarriage (chemical pregnancy).

Since my baby is now 7 years and 1 month old, we can count my last conception to 7 years and 10 months ago.

And, grown up me thought this time would be a walk in the park.

As soon as the ink dried on our marriage certificate, I began purchasing maternity clothes (used)... I justified that I couldn't pass up the great prices and surely I'd be pregnant any day now.

Then I started buying my cloth diaper system. I was convinced that I wanted Flip diapers and decided I'd accumulate my stash by the time the baby arrived without feeling any financial pain (1 or 2 a month and we would be good to go). Jenny over at What the Blog? has made me ponder multiples and a simple diaper strategy vs one size Flips...

One day I happened to be in the cute little baby boutique and consignment shop and came across a fabulous PPB nappy bag. It was $50 (retail $200). So, of course, I was obligated to snatch it up!

I may or not have purchased numerous cute bodysuits and a certain black and hot pink rockstar tutu... and maybe a couple of cute dress shoe/booties from a certain daily deal site.

There is also the possibility that I have a card stashed away to help share the exciting news with DD...

A few months back, I gave away most of my maternity clothes stash to DD's co-teacher (who has since already delivered that baby). My thinking was that it might help my mojo to divest my closet of big bellied clothing.

Then a short while later, a friend had a darling little angel girl and I stuffed a goodie bag with several of the darling bodysuits, tutu, and shoes.

I still have my diapers stashed away (and growing)... and a few other odds and ends.

I can't stay out of baby stores... possibly because I run an in home childcare and always need something for the littles I care for... possibly because I love babies... possibly because it's become an obsession...

Today I discovered I have three happy, fat eggs waiting to pop and do the happy dance with DD's sperm... what do I do? I start reading triplet blogs. The last cycle that I had 3 happy, fat eggs (of which none turned into a baby), I was researching triplet strollers and insurance. (I did find out that in the state of CA you can buy AFLAC insurance AFTER you are pregnant...and you don't have to live there to do that... good news for those carrying more than one baby.)

My brain knows that the likelihood that one egg will meet up with sperm is lowish... the likelihood that all three will... well, that's almost ridiculous given our history. Don't get me wrong, the prospect of triplets scares the bejeebers out of me, but it's also slightly exciting... maybe it's something only infertiles understand... 3 babies is certainly better than 0.

I'm ridiculous... I know. This cycle will probably end like the others... without a healthy pregnancy. But I can't help being a bit optimistic.

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