Monday, August 20, 2012

Infertility Sucks

I haven't had a proper drink in nearly two years. . .

When I have pain, I have to evaluate where I am in my cycle to determine if I can take ibuprofen. . .

Every time AF shows up I'm a weepy mess. . .

Everyone around me is pregnant. . . including teenagers who have no business having sex. . .

My maternity clothes are being worn by other women. . .

Before having sex, we must figure out where I am in my cycle and decide if we've had the appropriate length of a "break" since the last time we had sex (for sperm count). . .

My entire life revolves around a thermometer, pills, injections, charts, Doctors, ultrasounds, & vials of freshly collected semen with a short life span. .  .

Who knew ovaries could be so painful. . .

Many of the infertiles I've been following have graduated to pregnancy or finalized adoption. . . 

Money. . .

Moral dilemmas. . .

Choosing the sacrifice of NOT pursuing IVF. .  . (when part of me is screaming, a baby at any cost!).

Today I'm 17dpo.  I had FIVE beautiful, ripe follicles 17 days ago.  Today, I got a negative which means not one of those eggs met up with the swimmers.

AF will show any day.   On to another cycle.  Praying this one won't be wrought with disappointment. 



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